I’m losing hope. my Great favorite, the only one I can count on morning, afternoon and night. And now Hope is almost gone.
Ivanka and Jared, hello goodbye. I don’t need any more legal troubles. Don’t believe me when I say that I want you to stay. I mean, I need you. Oh, Ivanka can live and do whatever she does. Fill to mute slavs. Jared, you are fired. Shalom, Shalom.
Explain the tariff of steel. Nobody felt happy, but I just knew at that moment that it was the right thing to do. And I’m the president, so trust me.
And I can tell you clearly why we are stopping the Hudson River Tunnel – in two words: Chuck Schumer. Why would I ever do what Schumer wants for his kingdom. Oh, my kingdom too, but I’m red now. Whatever I say, I am all for the NRA.
Only losers take public transport, I told Cub Scout Paul Ryan. Scrape him, bury him. That man melted into my hands. He is my partner in crime, getting rid of Obamacare and everything else with Obama’s name on it. Dreamers, already awake!
Cartoons on President Donald Trump
Crazy about hope, I was blowing off steam, focusing – always in the moment. It made me a television star – only one person knew what I would do next. And sometimes not even one.
(Laughs) I like chaos. This is really good.
Angela and Theresa, what can I say? I gave him the Trump charm and Theresa fell for more than Angela. We laid hands on the way to the Rose Garden. I am told that Britain and Germany are our most important allies, so I will work hard next time.
Mueller has not seen anything yet. If he crosses me, no one is telling what I will do. Everyone in this city thinks he will find Russian dirt on me – think again! Vlad and I put the plans too deep for him. Oh, she is the one with anger against Hillary – not me! I just ran and favored my Russian friend. Then people loved me and I won Wisconsin – the rest is history! They lost an election they should have won. They are still crying in their pillows at night. Haha!
The biggest mistake I made – the only mistake I made – was for the Sessions Attorney General. My most loyal Senate man. What mistake did I make! Glad I got rid of that long freak circus commie. (I have to be the tallest man in the room.) Session is my curse. Russian investigation denied? Recuse? What does Mr. Magu think he is here for? Just to see him makes the king mad.
Don’t worry, people, we’re still going to build that beautiful wall, if John Kelly has to lay the stones himself. He’s a nautical, tough guy, he loves punishment, right? So, he is my Chief of Staff. He loves the wall – he loved Rob Porter – maybe not me. But I like to place a normal order. The only one who truly loves me is this – wait for it! – Stephen Miller Miller and me in a bunker, not my first choice.
The press scorched all round on me and my tweet. I give so much to talk about, write about them. I start tweeting at dawn, there is no down time for the White House Press Corps. I keep track of them all, though. They know that I see what they say, every word. Sometimes I read what they write. Maggie is always a good read. But have you noticed that I haven’t had a press conference recently?
A lot of people give me books about Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, Hamilton. No time to read, forgive them. They all had their days before coming with me and suggested presidents for life. They will all be dusted before I do. And why read books when you can watch Fox?